There are few things that parents fear more then potty training. Diapers are comfortable, the parent is in control. Having a potty trained child sounds wonderful, but the messy wet road to get there is enough to make any Mom or Dad run for the hills! Don’t we as parents already have enough to deal with? Sleep regression, temper tantrums, battles over nap time, and don’t even think about asking your toddler to brush his teeth. I.AM.Exhausted. So the thought of never ever potty training is an appealing one at times. Because who really wants to step unexpectedly into a puddle of pee or find a poop surprise around the house. Here are my 5 reasons to never potty train your child:
1 – There is no such thing as a laundry fairy – Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny may have visited our house, but so far the laundry fairy is no where to be seen. Therefore I an the one who gets stuck doing the mountains of laundry that we accumulate in a week. Add on top of that multiple outfit changes and more sheets into the mix. no thanks! Until the laundry fairy shows up I am out.
2 -Being tethered to the house – I am not a good “Stay at home mom” we are always on the go to local play groups, and visiting with friends and family. There is rarely a day where we have nothing going on. But the thought of having to deal with accidents while outside of the house (or even worse in the car) makes me want to hide behind the potty.
3 – Packing to go out is so much easier – Grab a couple of diapers and wipes and you are out the door. Once your are into potty training territory you need so much more – underwear, pants, socks, extra shoes (ew!). All of a sudden the diaper bag has turned into a small suitcase.
4 – Public washrooms – while most are not too bad we have all been in the one. You know the one that is gross and dirty, of course your toddler will want to touch EVERYTHING. Yuck Yuck Yuck, I will take a pass.
5 – I don’t dance – at least I don’t do the “Potty Dance” (go ahead Google it). Dancing at a wedding, sure! But do we really need a dance to celebrate that pee has made it into the waste management system?
For all the glory of being diaper free it sure seems like it is a long road to get there! So fess up what is your potty training advice?
P.S. In case you hadn’t guessed this is a satirical post